You know I’m in a lot of sports parent groups and I think “parents” are doing more damage to their kids AND are the reason why most kids quit sports by the age 11.
I am the parent of a kid who made the 2% and will go on to play D1 in college.
But I can tell you there is nothing in my son's story that would even make that make sense.
He almost died at 15 months due to vaccination and was left with gross motor skill issues that showed up on every test when he was little. They told us “We don’t know” if he would outgrow it.
He wasn’t the “star” of Pop Warner. Most of the time he was on the bench. In fact, one year his coach gave him the “nicest kid on the team” award cause that is exactly who Landy is. Never worrying about his own but the team.
I’ve had numerous coaches tell me he is too nice and to stop picking up defenders on the field. 😂
When he was a freshman football player some of the kids were selected to play JV and he was not one of them. And when I say he literally sat and cried in front of his dad it broke our hearts.
But he chose not to quit. He chose to get better. So we found a great trainer and I drove him an hour each way 2x a week with Melik Brown Sr.
When Covid hit I reached out to a few friends to ask about Landy's abilities and if he could make it in the tough South Florida market of football players and was told yes with work yes.
When Landy first went to a camp at FSU as a sophomore, he was rocked. He contemplated quitting football because he felt like he couldn’t scale.
It was amazing that in 2 years that same school invited him on a visit and a walk-on.
In his junior year (the most important year) he broke his hand and was unable to play most of the season. But he will tell you he truly started to understand offenses and how to play from being on the sideline.
We then went into the senior season and had their coach resign from the position, again creating a challenge for the team.
Can I tell you something?
The vast majority of kids who get to play at the D1 level are not 5 stars, they are hard workers, good STUDENTS ( and if you are not focusing on this with athletes you are missing a huge thing) and have learned how to be coachable, have leadership abilities and overcome hardship.
Perhaps my kids have been lucky that they had two parents whose life wasn’t “Easy” nor “fair” We have always shared stories of their dad having to convince the dean of Seton Hall to admit him. Standing outside of an event to have five minutes with the Governor and her staff to get an interview. Being thrown into software security and not knowing anything but having to make it work and bring in the numbers.
They heard and watched stories of me, climbing my way into the 2% of MLM world that everyone says is impossible. They watched every tear that fell, every person who quit on me, every failure. And they watched me doing it “out of my prime” at 41 yrs old.
I see so many parents with 8 year olds thinking they are going to the NFL, going to be the starting position.
Stop telling your kids sports is the greatest thing they will be. Stop coaching them from the sidelines. Stop intervening with coaches. You have no clue how many tears I have shed in private over situations I knew were unfair and yet I knew I had to let my kids figure it out.
Our kids lack basic skills in resilience because we have made sports all or nothing for them. And all or nothing leaves you with NOTHING. We avoid challenges for them and doing so we teach them that we don’t TRUST them to figure it out.
I will leave you with this. Kobe Bryant talked about his dad watching him for the summer play in a league when he was 11. He didn’t score ONE point yet every game his dad said I love watching you play. That gave him the belief that he didn’t need to be perfect.
This isn’t an “I know more” this is an “I’ve been thru it and this is what I have learned.”
Let’s go back to teaching kids what sports is truly about.
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